Stay
by moondust0109
Summary: Sequel to the oneshot Underexposure. Emma reflects on all that she has lost and Ellie contemplates how her choice between an old flame and a new love will affect her world. What's a girl to do?
1. Chapter 1

Rating: T

Rating Reason: Just in case

Ship/s (if applicable): You shall see...

Disclaimer: Degrassinot mine, no matter how much I wish it was:D

Summary: Sequel to "Underexposure."

It was never supposed to happen, but it did. Now Ellie must choose between an old flame and a new love. What's a girl to do?

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REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! please?

Chapter One:

It had been a week. Exactly a week since she had made out with her best friend's (ex) boyfriend. Exactly one week since he had confessed that he had feelings for her and proceeded to give her the most incredible kiss she had ever had. And now she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Sure, Craig was handsome and sweet and understood her like no one else. But she couldn't betray Ashley. Craig was just her friend and that's all he could ever be. She would just get her heart broken again. She didn't have feelings for _Craig Manning_; she couldn't. That kiss was just a momentary thing.

Right?

She angrily kicked a stone on the ground. Even in her own mind she wasn't so sure, but she didn't want to screw up one of the few good things she still had left. She couldn't get him out of her thoughts, though, no matter how hard she tried. She couldn't even sleep, which was why she was now taking a late night walk through the woods. It really was beautiful here, with the stars shining through the leafy canopy. She felt safe. Her phone vibrated yet again and she checked the ID.

__

He was calling her yet again.

"Why can't you just leave me alone, Craig" she whispered to no one in particular as she continued to stare at the name displayed on her phone. Maybe all the drama was making her crazy but she kind of liked talking to herself out here. It was refreshing to let all her feelings out without being judged. "It would be so much easier if you could just take a hint." The phone stopped ringing but she knew he would call back again.

"Things just have to be complicated, don't they," she said angrily as she snapped the rubberband on her wrist.

---

Craig sighed as he hung up again. Ellie wasn't answering his phone calls. _Was she mad at him? What was so wrong about them being together?_ _Did she feel the same?_ He wondered.

He knew that he shouldn't have kissed her but she had kissed him back. She had to have felt something; he knew she did. Now he didn't know what to do but he wasn't going to give up on her. Not now. Not when he was so close. He grabbed his coat and snuck out of the house. Joey would be mad if he found out but he didn't care.

She was worth it.

TBC


	2. 5x5

AN: So, I wasn't going to post this yet, but as you know, I have no self control when it comes to my fanfics so I'm posting it today. Anyway, I really really love getting reviews, so please leave me something (anything!).

Yes, there are other characters in this. Ellie happens to be the central character in this story but most everyone else is going to be in this (not so much the parents though). The title of this chapter (5x5) is a reference to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and the character Faith. She uses this catch phrase as a way to say "I'm fine". I used this in a particular way to format the chapter, kind of an experiment, so tell me what you think...

Chapter Two: Five by Five

---

Why did things have to be so hard for her? It seemed like she just wasn't allowed to be happy. She ran a hand through her hair and stared at the tangled branches in front of her, blocking the way. Ellie turned and abruptly punched a tree, packing all her frustration into that one hit.

She let out a deep breath. It had only made her hand hurt, but that was okay. It was better to feel.

---

Craig ran down the street. He had never felt this way before about anyone, not even Ash, and he didn't know what to do. He was apprehensive of what was happening between them, but he was more afraid of losing her for good. He knew if he didn't take this chance, he would never get her back.

His rational side argued that Ellie was probably asleep. He didn't care. He needed to see her.

---

Ashley felt bad. She hadn't meant to dump him like that, but she just didn't know what to do with Craig. Sure, she had loved him, and had even taken him back against her better judgement. But he was way too much for her to handle. Towards the end she always worried that he would have another episode. Craig had been ten times as oppressive as Jimmy had been, and though she truly did care, she needed space. Now she had finally found a good reason to end it without hurting him too much.

She should have listened to Ellie; their relationship had been cursed from the start.

She was the Queen of Doom after all.

---

Sean stared at the water, mesmerized by the shimmering waves. The glowing moon lit them up as they danced. He couldn't believe how beautiful it was out here, where he had almost died. Now he came here to think. He missed Degrassi, all of his friends and even his teachers. Most of all he missed _her_. She had been here for him and he had just let her go. But she left a long time ago. By now she had probably moved on and there was nothing he could do about it.

---

They sighed as they watched the two lovers on screen. Manny knew her best friend was thinking about her first love, too. She didn't know what had happened between them but ever since Sean had left, Emma hadn't been the same. She hadn't found anyone since. Well, it wasn't like Manny had done any better in terms of romance. Every guy she had been with had broken her heart. Her first love had told her she had been his biggest mistake. That hurt more than anything.

Maybe this year they would find someone who would stay. After all, they had nowhere to go but up.

---

He made up his mind there and then. No more passively watching as life passed him by. He should have known by now that life could end any minute. He didn't want to go with a life unfinished. He might as well start living in the present instead of the past. He was going back to Degrassi. He wanted his old life back and this time nothing would stand in his way.

---

Ash sighed as she stared at her inbox: empty. It had been a week since she had _officially _broken up with Craig and she had yet to hear back from him, or Ellie for that matter. They were probably busy. She turned off the computer. It was better that they were voluntarily cutting her off from their lives. Here in London, she had everything: a great job, a whole new city just waiting to be explored and a wonderful guy who she could see herself settling down with.

She wasn't going back to Degrassi; there was nothing left for her there.

---

He broke into a run as he approached Ellie's house. Finally, he was here. He grabbed a few pebbles and threw it at her window. Nothing. He tried again with more. Still no reply. Craig tried one last time but silence was his only greeting. He wearily collapsed. He had failed.

She was the one person who had always been there and now she was nowhere to be found.

---

Ellie looked up at the sky, which was already starting to lighten. It was time to head home. She angrily wiped away the lone tear that dared to trickle down her face. She would make it through.

No matter what.

TBC


	3. Faraway, So Close

AN: Please, PLEASE leave me a review if you read this. Even if you don't like, just tell me what I can improve. It takes two seconds to comment and makes me a very happy person:D

Chapter Three: Faraway, So Close

"Sean, come and eat breakfast," his mother said as he slowly entered the room. She didn't notice his resolute face or his deliberate movements. "And later, could you pick up some groceries for me?"

"Mom," he began, but she continued to bustle around, ignoring him. "Mom I need to tell you something," he tried again, his voice stronger this time. She finally looked up.

"What, sweetie?" Mrs. Cameron patiently asked.

"I want to go home."

---

"So, Em, what are you doing tomorrow, or rather tonight? There's a new movie playing that looks interesting," Manny said.

"Sorry, but I can't. I have to go to a 'family dinner.' After the whole STD disaster, I can't really complain. Archie's taking me and mom out to some fancy new restaurant."

"Oh. But who am I gonna go with? I can't go to the movies alone."

"Why don't you call up Toby?" Emma playfully suggested.

"Yeah, right." The two cracked up.

"What about JT?" Emma said, more seriously. Despite the fact that he would always be a geek, at least he was slightly less embarrassing than their other guy friend.

"Good idea. Hold on," she said as she whipped out her cell. "Hey JT. This is Manny. You're coming to the movies tonight with me, mkay? Great. Bye," she said into her phone. "So, what were we talking about?" She turned back to Emma.

"You didn't even pretend to let him answer."

"Why bother? It's not like he has a choice," she said. Then she changed the subject to one she had been thinking about the night before. "So, have you heard from Sean lately?"

"No," Em answered shortly, no longer laughing. "The letters have stopped. He probably doesn't even think of me anymore."

"That is so not true," Manny exclaimed, sitting up. "Right now I bet he's wishing he was here with you right now."

"Thanks, but that's not going to work. Anyway, Ms. Nosy, how's _your_ love life?"

"Nonexistent, of course. You know that."

"Yeah, but has anyone caught your eye? I hear there's a cute new guy."

"Nope. I'm not looking for a relationship right now," she lied. There was one she wanted but Craig had already made it quite clear he didn't feel the same way, not that that would stop her. Now that she heard Ashley was out of the picture...

Emma nodded. This was a depressing subject. She handed her best friend a spoon. "Ice cream?"

"Don't mind if I do."

---

"Sean, what are you talking about? Why do you want to leave? This is your home."

"Not any more."

"What happened? Are you okay?" Mrs. Cameron rushed toward him worriedly, but he fended her off.

"I'm fine. I just...want to go back. I miss them, mom. I miss everything. I don't belong here."

"Sean, honey," she started, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Please?" he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. She looked away. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, she turned back toward him.

She slowly nodded her assent.

TBC


	4. Promise

AN: Because of the wonderful reviews I received for my last chapter, especially by Alley from DR, I am posting this faster than I normally would. Thank you guys so much!

Reviews really do motivate me to write/post faster.

---

Chapter Four: Promise

"Ellie! I found you." He stood up and hugged her.

"Craig, what are you doing here?" she asked, surprised.

"I wanted to see you."

"So you decided to stalk me? Do you know what time it is?" she asked playfully. He shook his head, pleased that she hadn't asked if he was having an episode like Ash would. He had faithfully taken his meds since the incident at the end of the summer.

"I wanted to talk."

"We're talking right now," she said, not looking at him anymore. She tried to move around him but he blocked her way.

"Ashley's not coming back."

Ellie looked up sharply. "What?"

"She found a job and a new boyfriend. She's happy there," Craig muttered sadly.

"I'm so sorry Craig," Ellie said softly and enveloped him in a comforting hug. Finally he pulled away.

"You've been avoiding me for the past week. Are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not."

"Then, do you want to do something, sometime?" he asked her nervously

"Could you be any vaguer? Oh, my god. You're asking me out on a date, aren't you?"

"What's so wrong about that?" he asked defensively.

"I've told you what was wrong. Everything." Ellie didn't really want to deal with this right now.

"Just one date El. If you still feel that way, then I promise I will never bother you again about this."

"Why me? I'm a mess Craig. You need someone you can rely on," she said unconciously pulling on her rubber band. At his scrutiny she protectively crossed her arms. He gently extricated one of her hands and traced the jagged scars. She tried to take it back from him but he wouldn't let go. With one hand he wordlessly drew her arm forward and with the other, lifted up his shirt. He placed her cool fingers over the healing bruises still visible on his skin.

"We match," he simply stated. She stared at him as he let go of her hand, astonished that he would show her everything. She realized her trembling hands were still caressing the jagged lines and quickly withdrew. He continued. "Look Ellie. I don't need to look for someone else. I want you."

"One date. That's all," she said reluctantly.

"Tommorrow?" he asked. She nodded. It was all he could do not to dance with joy. "I'll pick you up at seven."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Okay," he grinned as he turned to go. She watched him until he disappeared from sight.

To Be Continued


	5. The Real Thing

AN: Ya'll should be proud. I wrote this in less than an hour and I'm posting it the very same day (instead of studying for my Spanish test, so you better wish me luck!) :D

I've been updating faster because I've gotten some absolutely wonderful comments, which make me post faster. Even if you don't like it, just leave me your thoughts on it. I love to hear from you guys.

REVIEW! Please?

---

Chapter Five: The Real Thing

"Guess what, Jimmy?" he blurted out excitedly into the phone.

"What, Craig?" his friend dutifully replied.

"She said yes!"

"Who?" Jimmy asked, not following the train of thought.

"Ellie! Who'd you think?"

"Wait a minute. You asked Ellie out? And she said yes?"

"Well, it took a little bit of persuasion. But she accepted."

"Eleanor Nash, as in your new ex's best friend? Man, that's not fair; she turned me down after Ash dumped me."

"Why do you have to keep on bringing Ashley up? We're done. I'm over her."

"Are you sure? Because it took _me_ a while to get over her and," Jimmy trailed off.

"You think I'm crazy don't you," Craig angrily responded.

"No, that's not it at all. It's just, you're the one who asked her to marry you, not me. That must hurt."

"Of course it hurts. I thought she was better than that but I've learned from my mistakes. El's different. She's incredible."

"I just want to make sure you are over her. Ash, I mean. If I find out that you've been using Ellie to get back at or get over Ashley, then I'm going to have to intervene. Ellie deserves better than that."

"I'm not. I would never, ever hurt her," Craig truthfully insisted. "She's the real thing, Jimmy. I mean, we really connected this summer and after everything we've been through together, I feel like she _knows_. She understands me, and I like that feeling. I like _her_."

"I know you do. You've been going on about her for the whole summer."

"Sorry, man. I didn't realize."

"It's okay, Craig, really. Now, I want to know... where are you taking her?"

---

Spinner lay on his back, absentmindedly drumming on his stomach. He had nowhere to go and no one who wanted him in their life. It was kind of pathetic that his kid sister had a better social life than he did.

He missed everyone and everything. How had he managed to go from a happy friend to social leper in one day? It's true, he shouldn't have helped in the stupid prank, but it wasn't his fault what Rick did. Right?

He didn't care anymore. He was sick of being pushed around and made fun off and abused or ignored. He thought his friends would understand. Yeah, right. Jimmy had even suggested suicide. Maybe Spin would take him up on that. Maybe then they'd care.

Spinner Mason wanted his old life back. And he wasn't going to settle for anything else.

---

"Do you have everything?" Mrs. Cameron worriedly asked for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, mom," Sean sighed in exasperation.

"Are you sure? Maybe we should check the house again, just in case."

"I've got everything. I want to leave now."

"Oh, honey," she whispered as she wrapped her son in her trembling embrace. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'll be fine."

TBC


	6. Talk to Her

AN: Sorry this one is so short.

Reviews make me write faster. So please, if you read this, tell me what you think. :D

Chapter Six: Talk to Her

"I did something really stupid, Alex," Ellie confessed to her friend.

Alex sat up slightly from her position on the bed. "What happened with Craig? Did you finally ask him out?"

"No, of course not! But how'd you know it involved Craig?"

"Please. It is so obvious that you have a crush on him. You talked about him nonstop until about a week ago, after you told me you two were at his house. I knew something was up. Who else would you be that worried about?"

Ellie gave her a glare but Alex just shrugged it off. Finally Ellie sighed in defeat. "He asked and I said yes."

"After all that time you spent glued to his side, I knew you two would hook up," Alex exclaimed. "So, why are you so upset about getting what you wanted?"

"It's just one date, nothing more. It'll just prove that we won't work together."

"What are you talking about? Craig's hot and he obviously likes you. What's the problem?"

"Craig's a guy," Ellie explained. At Alex's 'no, duh!' look, she elaborated. "I've never been really lucky with relationships. He's a great friend and I want to keep it that way. And what have you done with the real Alex, of the 'all men are dogs' club?""

"I'm allowed to be optimistic sometimes," Alex answered. In truth, she still didn't fully trust that Craig wouldn't revert back to his cheating ways, but Ellie deserved to be happy for once and she needed Alex's extra bit of confidence. "Marco's sexuality has nothing to do with you. And the fact that Sean ran back to his mommy wasn't your fault either."

"Sean had to work things out with his parents, Alex. I understand his reasons. And I know that Marco would be gay even if we hadn't dated," she spoke softly.

"Then what is it?" Alex's question was greeted by silence. "Don't tell me you feel guilty."

"I _should_ feel guilty," Ellie insisted, getting up and pacing angrily.

"She's the one who dumped him. Ash isn't coming back. You don't owe her anything. Besides, if she was a friend at all, she would want you to be happy."

"But..."

"But nothing. You and Craig are so perfect together."

Ellie finally stopped and looked up. "Really?"

"You're a match made in therapy. Literally," Alex replied. She couldn't believe she was advising Ellie, but she wasn't going to let her friend down. "I say, go for it. I'll call you later."

"Thanks Alex."

"Anytime."

TBC

Next time:

Will Ellie let herself trust Craig?

What does he have planned for their first date?

Will a certain someone ruin it for them?

You shall see...


	7. Change

AN: Long time, no see, huh? Anyway, things have been kind of crazy at school, and writing the scary story for DR, but I had some extra time today, so here is the next chapter. I hope you like.

Don't forget: reviewsfaster updates and more motivation to write:D To those who leave me feedback: I love you guys!

Chapter Seven: Change

Ellie froze as she heard the doorbell ring. This was it. She steeled herself and slowly opened the door. Her mouth dropped open in surprise.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"It's my house too, sweetie. They let me out early," Mrs. Nash explained as she entered the living room and deposited her bag before collapsing on the couch. "So, what would you like to do tonight?"

"Actually, I already have plans," Ellie said hesitantly.

Mrs. Nash stopped taking off her shoes and sat up sternly. "Eleanor Nash, I do not usually have time to spend, and tonight for a change I do, so I'd like to see my own daughter for a change. Your friends can wait."

"I promised Craig," Ellie objected.

"I'm sure your boyfriend will understand," her mother replied carelessly.

"He's not..." she began protesting, but then realized she didn't really know what Craig was to her anymore. Luckily, her mom hadn't noticed her slip up, as she was busy planning their evening. It wasn't like Ellie was purposely trying to make her mother mad. She just wasn't in the mood for a lecture or a talk about "feelings"and besides, she hated to break promises. Then the doorbell rang again. Suddenly glad for the excuse to leave, she ran for the door, grabbing her coat along the way and pulled a bewildered Craig away from the house.

"What was that about?" he asked as they had gotten far enough from the house that Mrs. Nash couldn't be seen or heard.

"Oh, nothing," she lied. Then she realized she was still holding his hand and quickly dropped it. Once she had put enough distance between them she asked, "So, what do you have planned for this fine evening, Mr. Manning?"

He grinned and led her to his (borrowed) car, opening her door with a slight bow. "A good time, Ms. Nash," he replied playfully, shutting the door firmly behind her.

---

Manny laughed and linked her arms with JT's. Despite his geekiness, they had actually had a good time together. She actually felt happy, for once. JT had a talent for calming her down. He suddenly halted and she looked around, mystified as to why his mood had changed so suddenly. She spotted Liberty approaching and she didn't look pleased.

"What are you doing?" the other girl ground out.

"Nothing," JT replied with a nervous laugh under her harsh gaze.

"I can't believe you!" Liberty cried as she took her soda and poured it down JT's pants.

"Liberty!" Manny called after her friend, but she didn't get a reply, or an explanation for what had just happened. Liberty was probably jealous, but she had nothing to worry about. Manny turned back to her very embarrassed friend and couldn't stop herself from letting out a small chuckle. Then she grew serious as he got more and more flustered. "Go to the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up." He ran off and she crossed her arms, impatient already. She stood in the middle of the lobby, all alone once more.

---

Emma shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Her mom and step-dad were great parents and all, but listening to them talk about the "good old days" was boring as hell, not to mention embarrassing. She discreetly looked around the fancy Thai restaurant that Snake had insisted on bringing them too. Suddenly, something caught her eye. Out of the corner of her eye she could just make out the sight of familiar red hair. She turned and stared in shock. Ellie and Craig were deeply involved in conversation. They looked like such a cute couple, with his hand resting on her arm and her unconsciously leaning in toward him.

Emma glared. It wasn't fair that Ellie was allowed to be happy. She quickly excused herself and stalked off toward the general area of the bathrooms. Suddenly she collided with someone and was knocked to the floor. A hand was extended and as she was pulled up the boy she had just run into smiled.

"Hi, I'm Peter," he introduced himself. Emma realized that he was the new guy she had heard about, as she looked him over. He was extremely cute.

"I'm Emma, and I'm really sorry."

"I usually don't mind when pretty girls bump into me," he honestly replied. She blushed, then smiled back. He had called her pretty. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad after all.

---

Craig smiled as he silently watched his beautiful companion. Things had gone well, for once. Ellie had loved the restaurant, which did, of course, have a vegetarian menu, even if they had had a minor disagreement about who would pay. Now they were together at the movies. He couldn't complain about her choice, because it gave him the excuse of enjoying having her head buried in his chest. She had been the one who had picked out the zombie movie after all. He was sorry when the lights came back on. Their hands brushed as he lifted picked up the empty popcorn container and he used this opportunity to entwine their fingers. She didn't pull away this time.

They continued to make their way out of the theater, not even noticing the idiotic grins they both wore. He listened but didn't really follow her rambling about the excess gore in the scary movie. He had been to busy staring at her to really been pay much attention to the screen, but it seemed like he hadn't missed much. Suddenly, she stopped walking as she realized she had forgotten her purse.

"I'll be right back," she called back toward him.

"I'll wait," he promised.

She pushed past the exiting crowd and finally sighed with relief as she found it safely tucked under her chair. She rolled her eyes at her own cluelessness and made her way back to the lobby-and Craig.

He seemed to be standing with someone else, but she couldn't see from that far way. As she approached them, she finally recognized with whom he was chatting. Her smile disappeared.

TBC


	8. No Sleep Tonight

Okay, so I haven't really been getting that many reviews for this story, yet I've gotten a ton of hits. Do people not like this story?

AN: Wow! Two updates in the same week...it's a record. Things are going to get kind of angsty, as this is drama, but I promise you I won't make you hate the ending when I get there. Just trust me:D

This was written before "Venus" and season five. I have not copied anything, though some stuff is canon. It takes place during the very end of summer.

If you read it, please leave me feedback (anything at all.) It takes two seconds and makes me very, very happy... :D

This chappie is dedicated to my friend, and co-writer of the DR Drifters' scary story, Bekka, even if this one is kind of a sad one. Feel better:D

Chapter Eight: No Sleep Tonight

"Matt!" Paige squealed with delight as she finally spotted her boyfriend. "How was your trip?"

"Great," he answered distractedly, giving her a quick kiss.

"Aren't you going to ask me about my summer?" she teased. Paige's smile faded a bit at his unenthusiastic response. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, look, can we talk inside," he gestured wildly toward the inside of the cute little cafe he had invited her to.

She crossed her arms in defiance. "Just tell me."

"I don't think we should be doing this," he indicated the two of them and looked away.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she inquired, upset.

"You're still in high school."

"And why is that a problem? In case you didn't notice, we just went through that. I don't care how old you are."

"I can't think straight around you. Paige, I'm leaving. It's better that way. I'm sorry."

"I am too," she angrily retorted before turning and stalking down the street. She didn't really care which way she was going as long as it was far away from him. Paige could not believe what had just happened: how dare he treat her like that after everything that had happened. She rubbed her forehead in frustration, but she refused to break down. Paige Michalchuk did not cry over boys. Despite how effectively they broke her heart.

---

"Hi, Craig," Manny smiled as she sidled up to him. He smiled back. She took a double take as she saw the girl, who came to a stop at his side, put her arm possessively around him and glared at her. "_Ellie?_ What are _you_ doing here?" Manny asked in a sneering voice. The two girls sized each other up while Craig looked between them, unsure of what was happening.

"Manny, why are you acting like that?" He asked her, confused about her bad behavior toward Ellie. Both girls threw him a contemptuous glance. Guys could be so clueless. "I thought we're friends."

"Yeah, friends with benefits," Ellie muttered under her breath.

"Stay out of this Ellie," Manny growled.

"Or you'll what," she challenged. Manny didn't answer.

"She's jealous," Ellie explained to Craig, matter-of-factly. Manny hated the fact that she was right.

"Of the school physco and schizo finding true love together? Please."

"I would think you of all people would have learned not to judge by reputation," Ellie retorted, a bit hurt.

"What are you talking about?" she asked quietly.

"You're known as the school slut, Manny. Didn't you know?" Manny blinked back a few tears and turned to Craig.

"You're better off without a bitch like _her_, Craig." Manny couldn't help it. _She_ was supposed to be the one that he looked at and held, not the punk-rock princess. What did he see in her anyway?

"Craig's here on a date with _me_, not you," Ellie informed her.

"Does Ashley know about you stealing her boyfriend?"

"Since when have you cared about Ash?"

"She's your best friend. I think she might want to know that her boyfriend has cheated on her."

"She already knows about you."

There was a beat of silence as the two girls glared at each other, ignoring everyone else who had gathered to watch the show. Then Manny tried to slap her but Ellie deftly caught her wrist before she made contact.

For a beat they continued to stare as Manny tried to get her hand out of Ellie's tight grip. Then Ellie nodded imperceptibly and let go. "You don't know me. You have no idea." With that Ellie angrily stormed out and Craig helplessly followed.

"El, don't listen to her. I still don't understand why, but she was trying to hurt you."  
"Well, guess what Craig? It worked. I told you that we were wrong in doing this. I'm not the most stable, but even I know that it's wrong to start a relationship with you after everything that's happened. There's Ash and Manny and your history and to be honest, I don't think I can handle anyone else breaking my heart. I had a great time with you today but it's better off this way. I...I've got to go. I'll see you around."

Ellie couldn't stay a minute longer. _Of course_ she just had to fall for him. If only he hadn't felt the same way and pursued her. Craig, the one person she could never be with, just had to be the one person who actually saw the real her. She wanted to trust him more than anything, but she just couldn't. She had to be realistic.

In the course of one summer with him, he had managed to break through her walls and into her heart. That scared her more than anything. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face, but she discreetly covered them with her hair. Now, it was too late to stop the pain, but at least it was the controllable kind. It was better that she hurt herself before he did.

Craig stood there, frozen, as she left him, hoping she would come back to him. But she didn't turn around.

TBC


	9. Fall To Pieces

AN: I haven't been getting that many reviews, but I'm going to continue with this anyway. PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW IF YOU READ THIS:D

To those who do leave me feedback, thank you guys so, so much! You make my day.

Chapter Nine: Fall To Pieces

Ellie picked her head up from where it was resting on her knees. A sliver of sunlight peeked through the canopy of trees and alighted on the patch of ground before her. It was morning already. She had to go home; her mom was going to kill her. She wearily stood up and slowly made her way through the woods.

Finally, she reached her house. It was hard to believe that she had left her home happy and excited. The whole thing seemed so long ago. She stared up at the no-longer welcoming site in apprehension. She had blown off her mom and it had all been for nothing. Hopefully, her mother was asleep. Ellie was an expert on avoidance anyway. She entered, and softly shut the door.

Ellie turned around and flicked on a light. Immediately she knew something was very wrong.

"No!" she cried in anguish as she beheld the sight before her. "No, no, no, no. This isn't happening." She pinched herself just in case but she knew that this was real.

---

Craig shook his head in disgust at himself. How could he have been so stupid? Ellie had left him and he had let her. He knew that it was better that she have some space, but he couldn't help wonder if he had just lost her forever.

He angrily turned to the dumpster in front of him and gave it a good hard kick. He continued to punch and bang the metal, screaming in frustration and letting everything out. Finally he stopped as he found he couldn't breath anymore and ran to his car. Only once he was safely in it did he finally start to cry.

---

Ellie angrily swiped the empty bottles off the table and onto the floor. One of them shattered, spilling glass fragments all over the carpet, but she couldn't bring herself to care. How could she do this to her?

She marched up and furiously shook her passed out mother. The drunken women finally awoke and blearily squinted at her daughter.

"Eleanor?" she slurred, vaguely happy.

"How dare you? You said you were better. You...you promised me. I guess that was all a lie, wasn't it _mother_," she said, laughing bitterly and turning away.

"Wait!" Mrs. Nash cried desperately, her broken smile gone now. "Your father..."

Ellie spun around and looked at her fearfully. "What about him?"

"He's missing. Presumed dead."

---

Paige continued walking, not even looking where she was going. She glared at the couple in front of her. It wasn't fair they were allowed to be happy and she wasn't. She stopped suddenly. Why had she given up on him so quickly? That wasn't like her. She had fought hard to get him in the first place. Now she couldn't let him leave without her having a say. She whipped out her cellphone and started dialing. Just then someone bumped into her, causing her to tumble out of her grasp.

"Oh, no." She cried as she attempted to put her broken phone together. "Not _now_!" She looked up as a familiar ex-boyfriend knelt down beside her. "Spinner?"

"I am so sorry, Paige," he said shyly as he gently took the pieces and tried to jam them together. Finally, he gave up and rocked back on his heels. "Here, you can have mine."

"What?" Paige was really confused.

"Take it. It's my fault anyway," he explained shoving his phone into her hands. Before she could react he had gotten up and quickly backed away before sprinting off. She stared after him, then shook her head and looked at the phone. First, she would find Matt, then she would deal with Spinner.

---

Ellie sunk to the floor, staring in disbelief. She precariously clutched at the floor as the phrase repeated over and over in her mind.

"He's missing. Presumed dead."

Sure she knew that war was dangerous, but she had firmly believed her daddy was invincible. She had been proven wrong once again. Suddenly she hated them all: her father for leaving her all alone, Sean for not caring and Craig for caring too much. Her musings were interrupted by an uncanny sensation of something caught in her fist. She uncurled her hand and stared at the offending object. It was a long, sharp shard of glass resting on her palm.

She discreetly stood up and made her way past her now passed out mom and into the bathroom. Then she locked the door.

TBC


	10. One Step Closer to Nowhere

AN: Yay! I finally updated! Aren't you proud:D I've also been working on a series of oneshots (two Emma-centric, two Crellie), so check that out as well.

Thanks for all the absolutely wonderful reviews. It means so much to me.

IM me anytime: DP Emma Nelson

I've been working at a wonderful site for Degrassi fans. It's the perfect place to talk and read/write fanfiction, so I would love for you guys to look at it. In fact, some of you already have! Anyway, the website is: 10: One Step Closer to Nowhere

Ellie felt numb. Nothing mattered anymore. She had truly tried, but everything had fallen apart. She shouldn't have been so surprised. She looked down at the trembling hand clutching the shard of glass. This was it. There could be no turning back.

She wiggled her fingers impatiently as she wondered why she felt so scared. It wasn't like she had never done this before. Sure, she would be betraying Sean, but by now she had learned that promises were just words. She ached to feel the release the makeshift knife would bring her.

Ellie glanced up and froze as she saw her reflection in the mirror. Who was that broken girl with tear-stained cheeks staring at her? Could that really be her? Shaking her head in disgust, she focused her attention back on the blade once more.

She would always be a cutter.

---

Sean jerked the car to a rough stop. He was finally here. All those feelings of worry, fear and longing returned. He stared at the lonely pathway before him. Maybe he should turn back while he still could. But he had come all this way.

Sean turned off the engine and slammed the door. He wanted this, he reassured himself. Straightening his shoulders, he marched determinedly up to the door. He had come so far already; he couldn't leave now.

---

Paige stared at the empty space in front of her that had previously been occupied by Spinner. Then she shook her head. She had more important people to worry about. Like Matt Oleander, her newest ex. But she wasn't about to give up on him just yet.

She started walking, annoyed with everything. She picked up her pace, pushing the slow crowd around her out of her way. Breaking into a light jog she darted across the street, narrowly avoiding death by car. She slowed as she approached the cafe and breathlessly scanned the area for that familiar face.

He was gone.

---

Closer. The blade dug in to her skin with frightening power as she let out the breath she had held unconsciously. She hadn't remembered how much it hurt. She watched, detached from it all, as a solitary droplet of blood seeped out and trailed it's way down her wrist. Finally, it slowly fell to the ground. She looked back at her arm and the angry red mark she had made.

It wasn't enough. Ellie had to dig deeper.

---

Fixing his jacket, Sean nervously rang the doorbell. Sure, it was late out, but she would be glad to see him. Right? He sure hoped so. He impatiently shifted from foot to foot. What was taking so long? Then he heard someone approach the door and sighed with relief. The door opened.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" asked a tall, chunky, tough-looking man who looked like he was about to pummel Sean.

"Um... is Ellie here?" he tentatively asked.

"Ellie who? Go away and don't you dare bother me again..." the man trailed off, gave him a threatening look and slammed the door in Sean's face.

"Well, that went well," the discouraged boy muttered ironically.

---

Another red mark, another droplet of blood. Why wasn't it working? She was supposed to be feeling better now. Suddenly, the phone's obnoxious ring broke through her solitude. She jumped in shock and the shard of glass fell from her limp fingers and shattered into a million pieces.

"No!" she cried out as she desperately picked through the remnants, trying to find something to work with. All she found were tiny fragments. The blade was broken beyond repair.

She collapsed to the ground. Pulling her knees up to her chest and rocking back and forth, she finally began to sob.

What had she done?

TBC


End file.
